Sales doubled in August!!

It is pretty, isn't it!

A bird lover on her honeymoon...

 http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00LIB5P1O

In July I sold two books; one to my wonderful, very beautiful and lifelong friend Mary (she’s in the acknowledgments) and one to someone else – possibly my oldest pal Mart who features in the book three times... and his shop, The Bike Shed (Wales) gets a gratuitous mention too. Why wouldn’t it, its demonstrably the best bike shop in Cardiff, in Wales and quite possibly the universe!

One of these men knows about I.T. and one...doesn't!

Now I’ve sold two more... One to Javi, who had a hand in getting the bugger published (he’s mentioned in the ackies too – Super Techie!) but being a monoglot Spanish speaker, won’t be able to read it. He just felt it would be a good thing to have, an investment, and he says it looks really cool. He should know, he’s seen it – you and I haven’t.

Then the Belgian wanted one but couldn’t download it onto his non-Kindle i-book. We did a deal; I’m open to deals. Unlimited use of his washing machine while I’m living in my van this summer... So then we had some beer to seal the deal! A proper Belgian amount of beer.

The next morning he had a proper Belgian beer hangover and I didn’t; as I was leaving with my washing, I stopped in the doorway to chat some more – this is Spain and it’s rude to leave when you say you’re going... about twenty minutes later is a good average. As I stood there the cat ran out, the Belgian chased the cat and the unattended door slammed shut.

No keys, 
No cat,

No shoes,

No mobile,

No nothing.

Thus the book cost the Belgian the eighty Euros the locksmith charged to open the door. Expensive reading – and he won’t understand it either!

You, on the other hand, can read the book at these prices...

 http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00LIB5P1O

STOP PRESS: 2 books sold!!!!!!!!!!!!

Debbie Thompson - illustrator incredible!!

I've sold not one, but TWO books!

Step forward Golden People to be gratefully thanked by a published author drunk on success! Clearly you are superior people; your taste is peerless, your decisions to be respected and imitated.

Seriously; I would love to know who has bought the book. And if you enjoy it...

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00LIB5P1O

Never mind the hedgerow; there has been a bustle on the bookshelf. The issues have been sorted and the book can be issued! Click on the link to see it...

What a pretty cover! Isn’t it pretty? Debbie did it – Debbie Thompson; Guilford’s answer to Janis Joplin, Four Non Blondes and Pink all rolled into one, has revealed another side to her amazing artistic abilities. She knocked it off in two hours after we’d been down the pub one evening. Why suffer for you art, says Debs.

So, what’s it about? A bike journey that I did in 2003 from Wales to the Czech Republic and back. But it’s definitely not about the bike. Wise and trusty sergeants; bikes chasing cars; three gorgeous Chermann Anias; blondes gone by; bicycling as Buddhism; sex, drugs, Rock and roll and tiny French villages; the Rainbow Warrior skipper; sex on a stick – a bed-rumpled Bardot; Trabbies and Chevettes, kebabs, Guiness and the “clear stuff” all make their appearance, as do camels in the Czech Repulic, aka, the world capital of surreal... its definitely not about the bike.

Care to peruse a page? http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00LIB5P1O

Travels in Time

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00LIB5P1O

Never mind the hedgerow; there has been a bustle on the bookshelf. The issues have been sorted and the book can be issued! Click on the link to see it...

What a pretty cover! Isn’t it pretty? Debbie did it – Debbie Thompson; Guilford’s answer to Janis Joplin, Four Non Blondes and Pink all rolled into one, has revealed another side to her amazing artistic abilities. She knocked it off in two hours after we’d been down the pub one evening. Why suffer for you art, says Debs.

So, what’s it about? A bike journey that I did in 2003 from Wales to the Czech Republic and back. But it’s definitely not about the bike. Wise and trusty sergeants; bikes chasing cars; three gorgeous Chermann Anias; blondes gone by; bicycling as Buddhism; sex, drugs, Rock and roll and tiny French villages; the Rainbow Warrior skipper; sex on a stick – a bed-rumpled Bardot; Trabbies and Chevettes, kebabs, Guiness and the “clear stuff” all make their appearance, as do camels in the Czech Repulic, aka, the world capital of surreal... its definitely not about the bike.

Care to peruse a page? http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00LIB5P1O

Burgos is Burning

Gamonal in flames

Burgos is burning. Franco’s old HQ, now a quiet provincial capital, best known for its cathedral, burst into flames on Friday night.

 

So; not just a few disatisfied yoof then!

The background is simple; after hard years of economic crisis many are without work, especially the younger generation, many of whom have never had a proper job; there are families surviving on one small pension. We are told loudly and often by national and local government that there isn’t money for vital social services like health and education.



The original issue; 8 million misspent

The issues are simple; el pueblo, the people of Spain are fed up with their bankers and politicians. Here, the local council wanted to spend millions to reshape the main road as it goes through Gamonal, the city’s main working class barrio. It has been the one straw too far and this highly conservative city has exploded in a popular protest.

On Friday the local committee in charge of the campaign cancelled a march and then dissolved itself, worried about possible extreme elements and misbehaviour. A spontaneous and peaceful gathering from the neighbourhood took place in front of the anti-disturbios, riot police drafted in from Valladolid. At ten o’clock some stones were thrown at the police and they responded with a charge. The rest of the night saw small groups of young people destroy all the fences and barriers surrounding the area of the road works, rubbish containers were burnt and the windows of several local banks were smashed.

 

As is the way in Spain, things were quickly organised and a timetable set; 6am keep the bulldozers out; 12am public meeting to discuss the issues; 7pm demonstration.

Tonight on the street things were very peaceful although the tension was noticeable; a march took place around the area and then went to the police station to demand the release of those young people arrested Friday and Saturday night. This was el pueblo, all the people, old and young, mums with pushchairs; a genuine demonstration that everyone has had enough. Humour was everywhere; social networks are bursting with gags and jokes. Many people around me tonight were joking that it’s a great fiesta; a way to meet all your friends and what’s more it’s free, no need to even buy a beer.

Returning to Gamonal from the police station, there was a large crowd on both sides of the street, surrounding the anti-disturbios, who were guarding what remains of the road works. The crowd were vociferous, demanding that the police leave; serious chants of, “You are the disturbance here!” mixed with, “While you’re patrolling, your wife is f******”. All the political issues were aired too. Although the noise was pretty scary and augmented by frequent and very loud explosions of fireworks, there was no violence. Everyone I spoke to agreed the presence of so many press and television cameras was responsible; without them another police charge would have occurred and people would have been hurt.

Rumours were flying as people made their way home that as from midnight anyone on the street would have to present their ID card, which must be carried by law; in effect a curfew.

Here’s a link:

http://revolution-news.com/burgos-spain-rioting/

1 Non Blonde + 1 Dumb Blonde

Givin' it welly - eyes closed an all...

Here's two versions of the same story. Choose which one you like best.

1 Non Blonde + 1 Dumb Blonde

Why the name? Where did that come from? Well here in Spain they tell jokes about blondes, just like everywhere else in the world. But a few years ago in California there were four very smart chicks who invented the name 4 Non Blondes for their band. Why not – they were smart and they weren’t blondes

And she can dance too....

 either. They were so smart they wrote a successful song. Debbie likes to sing that song.

One day we were chatting during rehearsal about a name for the band. 
“We can’t be 4 Non Blondes ‘cos there’s two of us.” said the Blonde.
“And that’s the only reason is it? ¿isn’t here anything else?” asked the Non Blonde
“Like what?” asked the Blonde.
“Like you’re Blonde!”
Yeh, and dumb, as you now know.

This is a real Rock and roll story; the story of an ex-choir boy and a girl who sounds more like Janis than Janis did. This is a story of total commitment, hard work and success after success after success. And if you believe that your dumb – a dumb blonde maybe; and there lies a story.
A few years ago four intelligent Californian girlies with no wish to be confused with the dumb blonde variety of girlie made a splendid recording and had a smash hit with it. They decided to name themselves 4 Non Blondes. Debs likes the song – tho’ typically she doesn’t know what it’s called – and she liked the idea of not being thought dumb and she isn’t blonde; from a bottle or otherwise. But there’s the problem you see; I am. So we had to be 1 Non Blonde and 1 Dumb Blonde……. Guess who’s the intelligent one in the band and who’s the dumb one?
If it’s intelligent to just turn up now and then, sing a couple of songs, dance about looking sexy and cool then accept all the plaudits; no doubt, its Debs. If it’s dumb to be the one (a rhyme – a lyric?!) who downloads all the lyrics, learns all the chords, looks after the guitar, buys and changes strings, painstakingly tracks down an often incommunicado band mate to arrange practices, searches out no-gigs and high profile non-concerts in cool places, arranges radio and television fame; no doubt, ¡it’s me!

My; haven't we got a lot of freinds

Coming soon – books

So where are they then, these books? Is there a bustle on the bookshelf?

Well; the truth is there are issues. Book issues rather than books being issued.

Rottweiler on speed

A title is still undecided and front covers are lacking.

When one peruses the pages of wisdom; the blogs of those that know and the webpages of those that can and have, two things become evident: you need a title that’s the Dog’s Bollox and a front cover that grabs the attention like a Rottweiler on speed sniffing the front of your pants!

Miss, Miss, how many fingers am I holding up?

So here’s the issues:

The title:

I have the sub-title. Everything they don’t tell you in uni about being a primary school teacher. The possibilities for the main title are legion; to many to mention here. My friend Rish, who teaches future primary teachers, ran a few ideas past some of his charges and they went for the infantile: Miss, Miss, Steve’s done a poo! They also liked, Miss, Miss, yer knickers are on fire! And some liked, At the Front of the Class: How to avoid a massacre  My pal Debs likes, Miss, Miss, how many fingers am I holding up? But then there's the issues with copyright.

Whadyerthink?

The front covers:

If you’re an artist/designer/graphic designer/sand artist/piss artist and you feel like drawing a very small drawing of a small boy doing a poo in class, or a St Valentine’s Day Massacre in class……. On you go and send me the results. Clearly you stand to make a small fortune in royalties. Very small. Infinitely small.

a massive feck-off fairytale Hans Christian Anderson of a wedding cake castle in Czech

The other book, Travels in Time also lacks a front cover. I wanted to use one of the Dr Who’s Tardis Van Gogh pictures, but its nightmare trying to track down the owners and ask for permission. Soooooooo…………….. if anyone wants to contribute a lovely paintin’, drawin’, computer generated image of a Time Traveller’s Bike…… or a Tardis with a bike parked outside…… or a massive feck-off fairytale Hans Christian Anderson of a wedding cake castle in Czech with a bike parked outside……. Likewise; on you go….. fame and fortune beckon! Not in this century, but who knows what posterity will bring?

Books, Books, Books.

Mine'll be there soon!

I’ve written some. Well, two; but another one is well on the way – its short stories you see, and I’ve written more than one, so that’s OK then innit! The two that are finished are called……… well; that’s another story, I’m not yet sure what they’re called.

Shall I do the start at the beginning thing; as Plum Wodehouse used to say somewhere around paragraph 2! OK, last summer I went wandering on the bike as I am wont to do of a summer. I did a lot of stuff and had a lot of thoughts. Big stuff, big thoughts. I met my Li’l Bro for the first time in 30+ years and really enjoyed it – of course I got to meet my Sister in Law and my nephew too. Later I met my Big Sis and her enormous family for the first time. Adopted you see; Sis, not me. So you see; pretty big stuff. Two of the thoughts I had were; I must become a Rock and Roll star before it’s too late! And I must start finishing some of the………. Ohhhh, let’s see now………. Lots of books and stories that I’ve got started.

The Rock and Roll thing is another story, but the books thing; I get distracted easy! An idea occurs, I hear a phrase, I see a headline or hear a story in a bar and that’s it! I’m off; tippy tappy on the lappy. The problem is that I don’t finish them. Until now!

Barnsley - jewel of the North

.....and Benidorm, jewel of the Costa Blanca

So here’s what I have; first a little book to help student teachers and Newly Qualified Teachers and simply those who are having a spot of bother. It’s not terribly formal; in fact it’s not formal at all. Some would say it’s downright informal verging on the irreverent. Good; that’s what I was aiming for. Do you need to know about class control? Jobs home and abroad? Good and bad schools? Need jargon decoded; know how to treat colleagues and your back explained? Want to have a laugh while you read - learn thru’ stories and a common sense approach backed by 16 yrs of experience? Want an easy to read, well set out book, with clear titles and easy lists to follow? I’ve worked in UK and abroad, been permanent and on supply, been in big schools, little schools, bilingual schools, multicultural schools and schools with no culture whatsoever. So if you are a student teacher, or an NQT; if you are struggling with your class, or simply wondering whether to go to Barnsley or Benidorm; the answers are here.

Secondly; a book that appears at first glance to be about a journey to a wedding in a castle in Moravia, but is in fact a series of reflections, rhapsodies, rants and raves about just about everything in the universe, all set to a symphony of storms, birdsong and the murmur of the breeze in the trees. Sunsets and sunrises by Manet

Monet...... or is it Manet, what's a vowel between friends?

and Monet abound with the odd Turner at dusk and a dawn Whistler or two. Landcape looms up and passes by, bridges for leaning and shade for lazing. Love affairs are there, both past and present; requited and un. There are three German girls all called Ania; endless stories and jokes pop up on the pages and keep you turning.

The next one, the one that’s well under way, is a series of traveler’s tales. Have you ever been in a car chase with the Polish Police or been arrested by the Secret Police in Crete?

Have you ever hitched a lift in James Bond’s car or shared a room in post-Midnight Express Istanbul with a French cough medicine junkie? I have and I’m going to tell you about it. Have you ever climbed down knotted sheets to escape the night watchman in a Crete hotel – no; neither have I but I know a man who has and I’ll tell you the tale. I’ll tell you about sailing with Dave and all the drinking and the dolphins; the flappy bits and the mappy bits. Meet beauty and the Brickie on the bus and share some Bertie Wooster with me in Eli’s in Huish Episkopi, one of Britain’s most loved pubs. I might even tell you what happened when I was massaging a French girls feet while her Dad snored away in the next room on Christmas Eve – I might………

Come back soon and I’ll maybe tell you about singing with Debs and out best gig ever at the anti-repo demo!