Coming soon – books

So where are they then, these books? Is there a bustle on the bookshelf?

Well; the truth is there are issues. Book issues rather than books being issued.

Rottweiler on speed

A title is still undecided and front covers are lacking.

When one peruses the pages of wisdom; the blogs of those that know and the webpages of those that can and have, two things become evident: you need a title that’s the Dog’s Bollox and a front cover that grabs the attention like a Rottweiler on speed sniffing the front of your pants!

Miss, Miss, how many fingers am I holding up?

So here’s the issues:

The title:

I have the sub-title. Everything they don’t tell you in uni about being a primary school teacher. The possibilities for the main title are legion; to many to mention here. My friend Rish, who teaches future primary teachers, ran a few ideas past some of his charges and they went for the infantile: Miss, Miss, Steve’s done a poo! They also liked, Miss, Miss, yer knickers are on fire! And some liked, At the Front of the Class: How to avoid a massacre  My pal Debs likes, Miss, Miss, how many fingers am I holding up? But then there's the issues with copyright.

Whadyerthink?

The front covers:

If you’re an artist/designer/graphic designer/sand artist/piss artist and you feel like drawing a very small drawing of a small boy doing a poo in class, or a St Valentine’s Day Massacre in class……. On you go and send me the results. Clearly you stand to make a small fortune in royalties. Very small. Infinitely small.

a massive feck-off fairytale Hans Christian Anderson of a wedding cake castle in Czech

The other book, Travels in Time also lacks a front cover. I wanted to use one of the Dr Who’s Tardis Van Gogh pictures, but its nightmare trying to track down the owners and ask for permission. Soooooooo…………….. if anyone wants to contribute a lovely paintin’, drawin’, computer generated image of a Time Traveller’s Bike…… or a Tardis with a bike parked outside…… or a massive feck-off fairytale Hans Christian Anderson of a wedding cake castle in Czech with a bike parked outside……. Likewise; on you go….. fame and fortune beckon! Not in this century, but who knows what posterity will bring?